Shame.....

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Formerly loopy
Posts: 6
Joined: Wed Mar 04, 2020 3:55 am

Shame.....

Post by Formerly loopy » Wed Mar 04, 2020 6:44 am

Hello,
I’ve thought about a lot of you in the past few years. I’d thought I’d let you know why I’ve been away. Shame and regrowth. In March of 2018 my son who had moved out to California was driving to work on his eleventh day of work at a new job. He struck a pedestrian and the woman died. He stayed with the lady, tried CPR, and was hungover. All of the consequences are still in progress. The shame of taking a life, will live with us forever. My son and I have not consumed alcohol from that day forward.
Many times since that day I’ve thought of you. Through the tragedies of Puerto Rico, tornados, floods and wildfires. I tried many times to get back here or to newbies, either I froze at the keyboard or my sign in didn’t got through, it doesn’t matter.
But I cannot live a lie, there are still days when I close the blinds and hide inside a book.
Formerly loopy

PHPaul
Site Admin
Posts: 332
Joined: Fri Jul 12, 2019 6:43 am
Location: Downeast Maine

Re: Shame.....

Post by PHPaul » Wed Mar 04, 2020 6:48 am

I thought that was probably you.

So very sorry for your troubles but it sounds like you all are trying to do the right thing.

Pretty sure I speak for all of us when I say WELCOME BACK and lean on us or just vent as needed.

Bkeepr
Posts: 151
Joined: Fri Jul 12, 2019 7:23 am
Location: West-central Maryland

Re: Shame.....

Post by Bkeepr » Wed Mar 04, 2020 9:07 am

PHPaul wrote:
Wed Mar 04, 2020 6:48 am
...Pretty sure I speak for all of us when I say WELCOME BACK and lean on us or just vent as needed.
Yes, what Paul said.

While there are consequences for all our actions, the best any of us can do is learn from them, repent, work to make the outcome as good as we can, and continue to live our lives. It is easy for me to say, but "shame" should not be part of it...I'm not judging you or your son for what happened, and doubt many of the rest of us are either.

Formerly loopy
Posts: 6
Joined: Wed Mar 04, 2020 3:55 am

Re: Shame.....

Post by Formerly loopy » Wed Mar 04, 2020 9:40 am

Dear bkeeper
I being a person who stops the lawn tractor for toads to pass, humbly disagree. I raised my children to respect all life. In actions and deeds. That being said, I also respect my son, for stepping up, admitting his actions, and has willfully accepted the consequences of his actions, he is currently fighting fires for the California correctional system. The shame comes from the loss of life, by actions that could have and should have been avoided. I went out there and had panic attacks while driving, took Uber’s thereafter...
But I’ve/ we have been blessed, also. There were many people who wrote to the judge of my sons character and community service, and his new boss and supervisor stood up for him.
So, there is respect, and yes some days shame creeps in still.

Bernie/MA
Posts: 180
Joined: Mon Jul 15, 2019 8:28 pm

Re: Shame.....

Post by Bernie/MA » Wed Mar 04, 2020 12:30 pm

Good to hear from you again Loopy.

Dieselrider
Posts: 40
Joined: Fri Jul 12, 2019 12:33 pm

Re: Shame.....

Post by Dieselrider » Wed Mar 04, 2020 6:22 pm

Bernie/MA wrote:
Wed Mar 04, 2020 12:30 pm
Good to hear from you again Loopy.
Ditto

RickyB
Posts: 16
Joined: Fri Jul 12, 2019 12:00 pm
Location: Central Texas

Re: Shame.....

Post by RickyB » Wed Mar 04, 2020 10:20 pm

Loopy, it is good to see you here. Take care.

Jim in RP
Posts: 108
Joined: Fri Jul 12, 2019 6:16 pm
Location: Negros Island

Re: Shame.....

Post by Jim in RP » Thu Mar 05, 2020 1:50 am

Loopy,

First I want to thank you for reaching out to us during your time of tile and tribulation.
I have missed you here and all ways wondered what it was that would keep you from posting.
During the 25 years of heavy drinking I went through. As fare as I know I did not kill any one.
My one and only son was not so lucky. Even today I still tear up thinking of that terrible day, 08:00 am. on Sept. 25, 2004. I received a call from a doctor in Grand Rapids telling me that my boy was dead. I will not go into details but I will say that he was 36 and that alcohol played a major roll in his death. I tried to teach him that drinking and smoking was not a healthy way of life. I FAILED! And it cost him his life.
That is enough of the alcohol tragedy’s in my life.
If you would like to talk, I have Magic Jack. I can call the US and talk as long as I want at no cost.

Jim


<grandpainak@yahoo.com>
Only The Dead Have Seen The end of WAR. "Plato"

Formerly loopy
Posts: 6
Joined: Wed Mar 04, 2020 3:55 am

Re: Shame.....

Post by Formerly loopy » Sat Mar 07, 2020 10:04 am

Hey Jim , thanks for posting. I hope that you are well enough and hanging in there.
I’ve always tried to respect non drinkers. But I wasn’t aware just how many people judge the decision until I myself stopped drinking. My only sister blew up at me, yelled that I treated her like shit, and refused to talk to me over one sentence. “ no thank you, I haven’t had a drink in over a year and a half”
The whole attitude just boggles my mind.
I had already been affected health wise after taking care of hubby’s parents, the death of his father, the death of my mother, then the situation with my son, I currently have to fight very hard to keep a 90 lb. weight. So the fight goes on ....
Hang in there from loopy

Jim in RP
Posts: 108
Joined: Fri Jul 12, 2019 6:16 pm
Location: Negros Island

Re: Shame.....

Post by Jim in RP » Sat Mar 07, 2020 4:33 pm

Loopy I sent you a Privet Message.
Only The Dead Have Seen The end of WAR. "Plato"

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