Elder care

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Bkeepr
Posts: 202
Joined: Fri Jul 12, 2019 7:23 am
Location: West-central Maryland

Elder care

Post by Bkeepr » Fri Jun 12, 2020 6:22 am

Not looking for sympathy, probably more like advice. My Mom (mid-90s now) has been healthy and determinedly self-sufficient, but is clearly declining. Macular degeneration has been stealing her eyesight for a couple of years now, she’s got constant severe back pain, and afib. Yet she still lives on her own with some support from my wife, a next-door neighbor (who she pays), and myself.

2 weeks ago she was admitted to hospital with congestive heart failure. She responded to treatment well and was discharged a week ago. My wife and I are switching off every other day staying with her to get her settled and self-sufficient again which is what she wants. That is ALL she wants anymore.

I don’t see that happening anymore though. Lots of issues— short term memory loss makes it tough for her to learn new stuff (that’s toughest for her because she was always bright) and a dozen or more meds to manage. She doesn’t want strangers in the house.

Any advice? I think some of you have dealt with this already.

PHPaul
Site Admin
Posts: 399
Joined: Fri Jul 12, 2019 6:43 am
Location: Downeast Maine

Re: Elder care

Post by PHPaul » Fri Jun 12, 2020 12:58 pm

A tough situation. Visiting nurse is probably the least intrusive answer if insurance covers it AND it's daily or at least several times a week.

Bkeepr
Posts: 202
Joined: Fri Jul 12, 2019 7:23 am
Location: West-central Maryland

Re: Elder care

Post by Bkeepr » Sat Jun 13, 2020 6:44 am

Thanks, that's a good idea and one that may wind up happening. She is determined to stay in her house and maybe she'll improve again to the point where that is possible but a visiting nurse would certainly help make it possible. I've got so much to learn about health insurance, Medicare, and such...

GeneMO
Posts: 123
Joined: Wed Aug 21, 2019 7:52 pm
Location: Speed Missouri

Re: Elder care

Post by GeneMO » Wed Jun 24, 2020 8:50 pm

Buddy of mine hired a local woman, and the woman's grown daughter. This was in the Ozarks and folks work cheap, or at least cheaper. Anyway, it worked out for him. His mom had a stroke. She could walk, and get around a little, got to the bathroom, etc, but not cook, clean, laundry. Worst part for me, when I visited, I could not understand her at all. It was terrible frustrating because she was always so out going.

Anyway, this mother daughter team had a schedule and someone was with her 24/7, till she passed away. I got to know the caretakers almost like family. Anyway, it worked for them, and was way cheaper than a nursing home.

Me? I am gonna have someone wheel me into a bank. I am gonna shoot up into the ceiling, rob the bank, then attempt a get a way. But of course get caught and sent to jail. I'll get 3 squares, a room, color TV, my meds and healthcare provided. I got it all figured out.! :)

Gene

Jim in RP
Posts: 127
Joined: Fri Jul 12, 2019 6:16 pm
Location: Negros Island

Re: Elder care

Post by Jim in RP » Wed Jun 24, 2020 11:40 pm

Sounds like a really good plan to me. ;)
Only The Dead Have Seen The end of WAR. "Plato"

Patria
Posts: 40
Joined: Mon Aug 05, 2019 9:21 pm
Location: Puerto Rico

Re: Elder care

Post by Patria » Thu Jun 25, 2020 10:08 am

Tom, I feel like we have known your mom forever as we have been reading your posts about her for a long time.

I wish I'd live closer to you, we could get a good home care plan going for your mom. Plus I'd bring two 'service' dogs :D .

Right now I'm only driving my clients to their appointments and to run errands. I am also the middle woman between my clients and their medical insurance.

I hope you get this organized, Bkeepr!

Bkeepr
Posts: 202
Joined: Fri Jul 12, 2019 7:23 am
Location: West-central Maryland

Re: Elder care

Post by Bkeepr » Thu Jun 25, 2020 10:42 am

Thanks, Patria and Gene.

At this moment, things are starting to look up. As everybody who knows her says "she's a tough cookie," and so (amazingly) she's recovering pretty well from the heart failure, which "only" left her other chronic issues. But what has come to light, though, as a result of Pam and I staying with her 24-7 and being with her at all her various medical visits, is that she has been over/ill-medicated for many months or years.

There's a lot of reasons why, and it was just a lot of luck and a little bit of asking good questions that we figured it out, but her meds have been adjusted quite a bit, and she has suddenly begun acting and thinking 10 or 15 years younger. She told me the other day it was the first time she can remember that her head did not hurt. She's walking better, etc etc.

I don't know whether she'll be able to be on her own anymore, but *she* is convinced that it is only a little while before she's ready. And I'll never bet against her, she typifies "the greatest generation."

Patria
Posts: 40
Joined: Mon Aug 05, 2019 9:21 pm
Location: Puerto Rico

Re: Elder care

Post by Patria » Thu Jun 25, 2020 2:40 pm

Oh goodness that's just wonderful, Tom, I can imagine the relieve!

GeneMO
Posts: 123
Joined: Wed Aug 21, 2019 7:52 pm
Location: Speed Missouri

Re: Elder care

Post by GeneMO » Sat Jun 27, 2020 5:39 pm

We had that over medication thing back in the 60's with my grandmother. A new doctor took a serious look at her handful of meds and combined/eliminated a bunch. She got better right away. She had been seeing two or three doctors for a variety of issues. Seems each one wanted to give her pills. Before the modern tracking system, the doctors didn't know what the others had prescribed. Took an outsider to figure it out.

Good she is doing better.

Gene

GeneMO
Posts: 123
Joined: Wed Aug 21, 2019 7:52 pm
Location: Speed Missouri

Re: Elder care

Post by GeneMO » Sat Jun 27, 2020 5:39 pm

We had that over medication thing back in the 60's with my grandmother. A new doctor took a serious look at her handful of meds and combined/eliminated a bunch. She got better right away. She had been seeing two or three doctors for a variety of issues. Seems each one wanted to give her pills. Before the modern tracking system, the doctors didn't know what the others had prescribed. Took an outsider to figure it out.

Good she is doing better.

Gene

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