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I'm posting this for him:

Poverty
When poverty introduces you to starvation.

While laying in bed this morning waiting for the sun to come up I started thinking about all the poverty I have witnessed in my life, including that in which I was raised. Tears were running down the side of my head across my temple, and my sideburns couldn't soak them all up.  I wiped them away with a bedsheet.  

I began to wonder why just the thought of that poverty brought tears to my eyes.  I started to do a little self analyzing.  I did not recognize the poverty I was raised in until sometime after I entered the army.  The lack of calories in my own upbringing led to me being rejected from the army for being too skinny.  I think the US government was afraid the North Vietnamese would have trouble targeting me.  

My thoughts took me back to when Maria, her father and her brother took me up to Tayasan on Negros Island to visit her grandfather's and great grandfather's grave site.  The bus stopped for a potty break in a small town quite a few miles north of Dumaguete.  As I was exercising my legs a block or two from the bus I saw a very small boy, pulling a string, and on the other end of the string was a beetle bug bigger than my thumb.  I realized what he had was his own pet. One that he not only could afford to feed but could drag across the street like the it was his dog on a leash.  

Then my thoughts turned to the old lady in front of McDonaldS.  Maria and I had gone there for breakfast that morning and walked past an old lady begging for some change.  We placed and got our orders and sat down at a window seat with the old lady just outside.  She was so skinny she looked like a skeleton with skin draped over it.  As I started to eat, I realized the old lady might be really hungry.  I asked Maria to go out there and ask her if she was hungry, and if she was hungry, invite her in for a McDonald's breakfast.  As they entered the restaurant, the manager came rushing up, and I knew instinctively what he was about to do and that was run the old lady out because she was a beggar.  I stepped in front of him as he approached the door and told him the old lady was my guest.  He turned around and went to some other business he had in mind, and Maria and the old lady sat down at our table.  I told Maria to order her a breakfast.  Because my life in the Philippines had only just begun I knew absolutely nothing of the local dialect and could not understand anything that was being said.  A short time later, Maria and the old lady began to cry.  I instinctively realized that they had touched on the old ladies poverty.  The old lady had revealed to Maria the reason behind her skinny starving state.

The old lady had been living in the mountains, her whole life and her, poverty-stricken family had, kicked her out.  The old lady had walked for three days to get to Dumaguete.  She had not had anything to eat for the last five days. The old lady was crying because she had something to eat, and Maria was crying because of her poverty. I told Maria to order her another breakfast but to order it to go.  Without the old lady seeing it, Maria put a 50 peso note inside her to go box and we all parted ways.  One of the few words I knew in the bisaya language was “thanks”.  I knew the old lady was thinking us many time over as we parted ways.

What I learned that morning was how to treat the beggars, I met on the street.  Of course they were all asking for pesos, and if we asked them if they were hungry, they would undoubtedly say yes.  But if we asked if they wanted to go to the restaurant and let us feed them and they turned us down for 10 pesos instead of a 300 peso meal I knew they were a professional beggar and got absolutely nothing from me.  

I have given "bums" some occasional money. but mostly have stopped, because so many of them are obviously just using it as a tax free "job"

Hard to give money away when I worked hard to get it. Now, if I could just determine who the really needy were.

Gene

GeneMO wrote: Fri Jul 11, 2025 1:09 pm I have given "bums" some occasional money. but mostly have stopped, because so many of them are obviously just using it as a tax free "job"

Hard to give money away when I worked hard to get it. Now, if I could just determine who the really needy were.

Gene

That is the issue, exactly. I've been blest in life and try to pay it forward, but like you I don't know how to tell the difference between the truly needy and the scammers and also don't want to support drug addicts.

I imagine I've missed an occasional opportunity to actually help, but at least locally the panhandlers are-IMHO-scammers.

There are help-wanted signs EVERYWHERE. Get a job. If you can get to and from the intersection by WalMart, you can get to and from work.

PHPaul wrote: Fri Jul 11, 2025 7:52 pm Get a job. If you can get to and from the intersection by WalMart, you can get to and from work.

The beggars here and in the states are of a different species.
Most of the beggars here are children of pre-puberty age.
Things I look for; are they clean? Do they have clean clothes and do they look well fed? Are they willing to go to the restaurant to get something to eat?
If there are of the professional beggar group, they would rather get 10 pesos than a 300 peso meal. 10 pesos is equal to about $.18 and 300 pesos is equal to about six dollars. Do I give to the professional beggars? I'm sure a few have slip by.
Maria and I were at an upscale hotel restaurant in Dumaguete and an older male was indicating that he was hungry. I asked the waiter if it was OK to bring him in and feed him. The waiter said that it was the restaurant policy, not to let beggars in for any reason. After about 5 minutes, the restaurant manager showed up at our table and explained that it would not be beneficial to let any beggars in regardless of whether or not they were my guest. He explained that he was operating an upscale restaurant and beggars in the restaurant just didn't mix with his style of restaurant. He also explained that he recognizing my generosity and willingness to help the poor, but it was not helpful to his restaurant. I explained to him that I realize what he was talking about and apologize for even asking. He also explained that our meal would be out in about 25 minutes. I left the restaurant and went two doors down where there was a sidewalk restaurant. The beggar explain that he was not the only one hungry that his whole family was hungry. I told a sidewalk vendor to give the man whatever you want, including what he wanted to take home to his family and then I would pay for it shortly. That bigger went home with a store-bought meal for his entire family and I paid about 800 pesos to feed him and his hungry family.
When it comes time to pay our bill, the manager brought it out and thanked me for my generosity, and for my understanding of where he and his restaurant were coming from. Everyone in this situation left with a good feeling. Maria having been born and raised in Dumaguete would have given him 10 pesos and sent him on his way. I being raised in poverty and her being raised in Dumaguete don't always agree with the way I treat the poor and hungry. If only I could have had someone buy me a big Mac when I was 10 or 12 years old, I would've been in heaven. It wasn't past me, at that age, to steal food.

I often think about how fortunate I am, and that how there is a fine line, where had I not had help from my parents and also a good amount of luck, things could have turned out differently for me. Shawn Hannity had a saying that we are the sum of all of the decisions we have made in life. Make poor decisions, things could go bad fast. I have been blessed to make some good decisions, and the bad decisions? I lucked out and most of them I didn't get caught at !

Gene